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The Journey From Known Misery to Uncharted Joy
The predictable known in our life, even when emotionally painful, is less stressful than the unknown joy in our future. Attributing staying in undesirable relationships and jobs to masochism, low self-esteem, or other negative characteristics are attempts to understand human challenges through psychopathological labels. While some of the labels appear to fit the behavior of people who remain stuck in misery, the diagnosis are manifestations rather than causes maintaining the unwanted condition. For example, consider someone in a destructive relationship diagnosed with self-esteem disorder. Now, this person has a label that can be understood and treated. Yet, after months of therapy, showing improvement in self-esteem, the “patient” remains in the destructive relationship. What could be going on? In some cases, the next step is to add another label so it can be treated. In our example above, we can add self-sabotage as the next label, and that behavior points to a possible diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The plot thickens because (BPD) is a very difficult condition to treat. The therapy shifts from the fairly benign low self-esteem label to the more serious (BPD) pathological diagnosis. This label jumping can go on indefinitely, increasing the helplessness of the “patient” and the frustration of the therapist.
